glukupikron

It is a deadly stinginess by which the nonlover eludes desire. He measures his emotions out like a miser counting gold. There is no risk entailed in his transaction with eros because he does not invest in the single moment that is open to risk, the moment when desire begins, ‘now.’ ‘Now’ is the moment when change erupts. The nonlover declines change, as successfully as the cicadas do, enclosed in a carapace of sōphrosynē. He is secure in his narrative choices of life and love. He already knows how the novel will end, and he has firmly crossed out the beginning…

The point of time that Lysias deletes from his logos, the moment of mania when Eros enters the lover, is for Sokrates the single most important moment to confront and grasp. ‘Now’ is a gift from the gods and an access onto reality. To address yourself to the moment when Eros glances into your life and to grasp what is happening in your soul at that moment is to begin to understand how to live. Eros’ mode of takeover is an education: it can teach you the real nature of what is inside you. Once you glimpse that, you can begin to become it. Sokrates says it is a glimpse of a god.”

-Anne Carson
Eros, The Bittersweet

They relate, and they conflict. And here lies the mystery of eroticism… To have a fierce kind of intimacy, you have to be able to take risks. The risk is that not everything about you will be liked by your partner. One of the strange concepts of the romantic ideal is that of unconditional love. Doesn’t exist. Never existed, for that matter. Love is conditional. Completely. It’s not a popular idea… but Love is a verb. It’s not a permanent state of enthusiasm. It’s an actual practice. And that practice gets repeated, all the time.”

-Esther Perel
The Erotic Is an Antidote to Death